Playing with g/f or wife...

SleepySmurf · **Playing with g/f or wife... -** 10-27-2005, 12:20 PM

I dont know what it is but I can not play vball with my g/f on the same team as me. No matter how I set her she gets mad at me and I have very good hands for a hitter. I set her best freind perfectly fine but obviously Im doing something wrong and when I ask her how she wants it I get dirty looks. lol.

Last night while playing I was helping a noob with plays like sets 1-5 and what not cuz he didnt know and he wants to be a setter. She comes over to me after the first game and said, stop helping other people when you should be concerned with your own game. Well, I promptly said F off Im trying to help a freind here.

I like to help people who dont really know what theyre doing but want to learn. Its something that never happened to me and its taken me years and years to learn just by watching. So why not help, ya know. Yet I get yelled at for it.

I guess we just might not be able to play together and Id hate not to goto the night cuz its the only indoor game going on in the summer right now. I will stop if this keeps up though. This happened last night and we havent talked just yet but Im wondering if Im alone on this where I cant be on the same team as her.

Any Ideas?

VBLIGUY · 10-27-2005, 12:22 PM

It's very common for spouses/significant others to have issues on the court.

My X-wife and I played together very well (unfortunately our off-court relationship wasn't quite as good...)

Anyway, I have some married friends who play together very well and some that don't. I think you've figured out that it's a bad plan for you.

You don't paint a very pretty picture of your g/f...

Are you considerably better than your g/f? I think there is a lot more to these issues than what you think. (jealousy/control)

I take it her best friend is a girl? I was very friendly with my X-wifes best friend one day many years ago. I found out later that my X was just seething. She was very angry that I was getting along with her best friend so well. To her it was flirting, not being friendly.

Good luck,

(you'll need it)

SleepySmurf · 10-27-2005, 12:23 PM

Am I better than her? Yes. I didnt really think of a jealousy angle. Her best freind is considerably better at hitting than her. Ok, playing with her best freind does create problems. My g/f went to Europe last month and on her last weekend here we had a tourney which I asked her best freind to play cuz I thought she was leaving the day of the tourney. Well it turned out that it was 2 days after that she was leaving but I had already asked her freind. I havent heard the end of that yet.

Last night a shanked pass came to me and I was hitting weakside and her best freind was in the 1 spot (serving spot) so I set a 10 ball and called her for it. I could here my g/f say under her breath but loud enough for me to hear it, "oh of course!"

While we are a new couple, only dating for a few months, seriously for one, I do really care for her and we just had a phenomenal weekend with each other. I guess we just cant play together.

SleepySmurf · **So I'm Single Again! -** 11-30-2005, 10:00 AM

Doesn't matter now we broke up, she's leaving for work and wont be back for three years. Before anyone asks no I would of moved with her (she asked) but it's London. I just cant, her decision, my lose

NewEnglandRT · 11-30-2005, 11:43 PM

Sorry to hear that. You'll get over it..... did her friend move

I can't play right next to my wife. If we end up with a camp fire it's definately her fault

ok, it's probably mine as she's better defensively than I am.... but I'm that guy, lol.

Actually my wife when she's on and into the game is probably better than I am all around (except I hit with more power).

Pancake · 12-01-2005, 11:04 AM

WOW! VB Drama, I want to know more, did your ex's friend move too?

SleepySmurf · 12-01-2005, 11:45 AM

Yes, Pancake DRAMA.

Her friend works for a different company, so thats not an issue. It's completly a sad story but oh well....

Troy · 12-07-2005, 09:04 AM

Most of the couples I know that play volleyball don't play very well together if doubles, but play well together if other people are on the team (indoor 4's or 6's). I tried to teach my wife to play, but after 10 minutes she said I yelled at her too much. Yet, I can coach a dozen 15 year-old girls for two years and no complaints.

Of the couples I do know that can play well together, its because the woman is a much better player than the guy, and the guy has "his" sport and just plays "her" sport secondarily. I think guys are more likely to recognize the stronger player as the leader on the court, but not necessarily in the romantic relationship; whatever happens on the court is isolated on the court.

AIM · 03-17-2006, 05:42 PM

Sorry to hear about your breakup, but this is an interesting topic. My husband and I play together and have issues primarily when he starts trying to tell me how to play or when he has been critizing other teammates with just as much talent and experience as he has behind their backs. If someone wants help, he/she will typically ask for it. When he gives unsolicited instructions or criticisim, it must be because he thinks that he is better than everyone else. He gets a big head because people are amazed by how hard he hits. They rarely realize that half of the balls he hits go out of bounds. Sometimes my anger at his arrogance will get the best of me and I will begin criticizing him so that he refocuses his attention on his own performance rather than mine. If he is positive and encouraging, we play very well together. I think the key is to treat your significant other with the same respect and encouragement as you would with another teammate. He/she will be more likely to do the same.

Air Diney · 03-18-2006, 09:39 PM

So, I guess I should add to this since I am New Englandrt's wifey

Ya, can't play next to each other. Starts yappin' at me.....definately his fault!! Ha ha ha.....I love you hubby

We do totally fine on a team together as long as you put someone between us. Sometimes he's a little hard on me in warm ups when I set him, he starts gettin' annoyed at the sets I am giving him. I DO totally overthink my set when I am setting to him, so that he doesn't yell at me, and end up just screwing it all up. Everyone else I set fine, unless I am having a bad setting day.