Hi I'm confused and concerned-please help me

volleymom55 · **Hi I'm confused and concerned-please help me -** 08-20-2007, 07:51 PM

I decided on this venue since it was the only one that specifically discussed volleyball. My daughter lives and breathes it and I am have a hard time with the unjust events that are happening to her in high school. Does this continue as long as she plays volleyball? We were hoping for a scholarship (some coaches have even looked at her), but for it to be her senior year and to have been the starting setter for the past 3 years in high school and then to be benched because an underclassman's father, and the coach are drinking buddies just hurts. I have a daughter coming home every night from triple sessions upset because the coach has throw her to the wayside. My daughter has had 2 setting camps (elite and collegiate). Her competition has only been to club one year, no camps, and played on #2 teams while my daughter has been in club for 5 years, played all elite #1 teams and ran a 5-1. Does my daughter's competition have that much talent--I don't think so and neither does most of her high school team. I don't have the money to send my daughter to college and believe me I find it very hard that a high school coach should have this kind of power to weld. Apparently, it doesn't matte what the sport a coach can make or break an athlete's opportunity for a scholarship. What recourse do I have? As far as I can see none. Please send me some advise. I really think the coach is trying to make my daughter quit.

volleyballstud · 08-20-2007, 11:15 PM

It's unfortunate that this kind of thing happens. Being a former coach, I have witnessed this kind of thing happen all the time at high schools. Unfortunately politics isn't just a volleyball thing. I've seen it happen at work as well.

My suggestions to you are:
1.) don't have her quit. Quitting will teach her nothing except to quit when things go bad for her.
2.) emphasize on this year's club season, which usually starts immediately after high school state finals... November/December.
3.) have the club coach create a video tape or dvd highlighting and showcasing her abilities to send to colleges. Be sure to do this at the beginning of the club season and provide the college coaches with a copy of her tournament and league schedule.

If she's really a decent setter, then she'll definitely get looked at... especially if she's fairly tall.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Outta Town · **Make a move -** 08-20-2007, 11:48 PM

I would voice my concerns to the figures above your daughters coach. If that goes nowhere, I would talk to a coach at another school. If your daughter has been scouted, they will still look at her on another team, seeing how she adapts to new coaching and new team mates. She may even excel even faster with another coach, getting that scholarship.
She has to place herself in view of college coaches and scouts and her present coach seems to be hindering that visibility.

volleyballstud · 08-21-2007, 12:10 AM

There may be an issue with transferring high schools and athletic eligibility in some states, especially if there is no change of residence involved. I believe that in some states, you cannot have competed at the varsity level for a school within the last 12 months in order to be able to play for the new school. I'm sure it varies from state to state, though...

EGOLDEN · 08-21-2007, 01:02 PM

Going straight to confronting the coach or over the coach's head to the athletic director of the school rarely works. It may even serve as a catalyst for this coach to really make your daughter want to quit. It happens all the time in many sports.

Volleyballstud gives some good advice here, she needs to focus on an additional venue(such as club season) for her to get noticed by college scouts, as well as remaining on the team she currently plays on. Tell her not to quit. Nothing screams malcontent more than someone who quits because they are not playing (even if the coach is a jerk).

One of the worst things you can do is berate this coach or fight your daughter's battles for her. She probably hasn't asked you to do that (and if she has, doing so is not a good idea). engaging this coach could serve as a source of embarrassment for her and afford the coach opportunities/reasons to keep her from playing.

OmniSpiker · 08-21-2007, 02:54 PM

Putting personal feelings aside and portrayal of the other side is always the bad person...

What high school coaches have to balance is new players that will replace departing players. While some coaches may feel that playing all out with seniors strong in their final year, those players will be gone by the following year and the team is now stuck with newbies. What about a continual team that plays consistently year after year hopefully always climbing the ranks, rather than playing on a roller coaster ride. If you're a temporary coach, winning may be the sole objective. If you're a longtime coach of the high school varsity volleyball team, you've got a winning/losing ranking career. Get to become #1 in the State only to comeback the following year dead last, is not reputable of a coach's ability.

From what I've seen and heard is that most college scouting of volleyball players are actually done at the club level. Lucrative tournaments like Regionals and Nationals Competition - publically announced college scouts.

I've heard...Scholarships for volleyball are generally offerred at D1 colleges and only a fraction of the team are awarded it, some only partial. D2 colleges may have a partial scholarship for volleyball. D3 probably nonexistent.

tbarbera · 08-21-2007, 03:24 PM

Let me preface this by letting you know that I was captain of my high school's Men's team.

If there is a distinct difference in the setting of two players you can be sure that the player's, parents, and other coaches and athletes notice. If your daughter is not playing and she is clearly the better setter people will notice and people should speak up.

We had an issue with a senior setter and a younger setter when I was captain. Myself and the other captain met with the coach and explained why we thought one setter (the older one) should set over the other and he explained why he thought the younger setter should set. It ended up working out so that the older setter began to play more and the younger setter worked harder and became a better setter and a better fit for the offense that we were running. The older setter eventually quit the team because he thought he was being treated unfairly.

I guess the point to my story is that the captains are the ones who need to step up and talk to the coach and if they feel the same way you do and they aren't getting anything done through the coach they should go to the AD. I understand that non of this may help your daughter but there may be more reason than just "drinking buddies".

I would encourage you to support your daughter and have her practice hard. If nothing changes than she still has club season and that is where most of the recruiting comes from. Start talking to some club directors and coaches now and explain your daughters situation to them and see if they can help you out.

I am wondering what state this is happening in.

Good Luck!

Outta Town · 08-21-2007, 05:42 PM

What state is a good question. Here in Phoenix, the school districts are huge, having 6-12 schools and an open district policy. She could transfer to any of those schools in the district and play, not having to live near that school, but having to live inside total district boundaries.

MISSVB2U · **Take it to the Higher level. -** 08-22-2007, 11:29 AM

Consult with other parents if you are involved in the local PTA or if you know a School Board member if you can. Being part of a network internally will help make your concerns more vocal. Ask other parents how they feel about the coach and how the girls are playing. You should bring your concerns to the Director because this is upsetting you and if it were my daughter I would go to the boss period. Do not let one person stand in the way of your daughter's success.

Why should she have to change her life and move to a different district? Change friends and her routine? Work harder, strive for success and your daughter will be the best.

When others do not like the way you do things either ignore the situation or do something about it.

All the suggestions of everyone are valid and good. Your final choice is the one that matters. The girl deserves a chance.

People are not nice sometimes that I know more than any.

volleyballstud · 08-22-2007, 12:22 PM

Honestly...

This is high school. The season lasts 2-3 months. Unless you have pull with someone higher up, this could get dragged out until it's too late to even matter.

Best thing your daughter can do is try to help out the girl who's currently setting to help out the team. As a setter, she's a team leader whether she wants the responsibility or not. Being a good player isn't just about playing well, but making others around you play better.